I know there are a lot of dudes out there wondering anxiously why their love interest has stopped replying to his text messages. This question sends many people into negative spirals, and few know what to do about it.
Now, every situation is different, and women are complicated, so there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this problem. But there are a few essential things to consider before deciding what to do, as well as a few apparent “don’ts” in this kind of situation. Today, you’re going to learn the main reasons women stop texting back and what to do about it.
1. You Turned Her Off
If she has not replied to your latest text, the most likely reason is that you said something that turned her off. Guys do this all the time. You may want to check out Gotham Club’s guidelines for nailing your opening text.
There are a few different ways to turn a girl off through text. In general, it comes down to being “too much” of something or other. Did you go overboard on goofiness and silly emojis? Were you too forward or inappropriate? Did you ask too many details about her? Did you text back too quickly and too many times? Maybe you were too boring?
As soon as you trigger a woman’s “too much” sensor, she will disappear. If she knows that sending you one tiny text is going to get her back five more, she’s not going to book. Being overly interested or overly available kills the fun for her and also makes you seem needy. Once you make her feel uncomfortable, all she has to do is not text back.
If this is the mistake you made, experts recommend that you give her space. You made an impression of neediness that you need to make up for – but without totally ghosting her.
So. if you sent the last text, just let it ride. Wait. She will likely come around. When she texts you back, DO NOT reply. PLEASE, for your good, don’t even think about writing again when you get that buzz. She already fears that you will repeat the mistake you previously made.
Most likely, you need to cool it and let that text sit unanswered. Wait a few days. This will make her think about you and wonder why you’re not texting back.
Is she good enough for you? Did you meet someone else? Suddenly you have your power back. This is being tactical in a game you have to play when you’re dating, and it’s also a genuinely good practice in self-respect and patience for both of you.
When you text back, say something like, “Hey, sorry, I’ve been busy this week.” Address whatever she said or hit her with a “What are you up to?” That question gives her a chance to either tell you about her day or make space to spend some time with you.
But what if she doesn’t text back even after a week. What do you do then? Here are some perfect lines for this situation. If you’re still interested, it’s probably best to ask her straight up if she’s interested. This will make her realize that she’s been inconveniencing you by not giving more explanation for why she disappeared.
It returns the power to you. She goes from feeling overly desired to feel like she has done you wrong. She’ll either want to make up for that and win your approval back or end the process entirely. Either way, you’ll get the information you need.
2. She’s Busy
It is entirely possible that your love interest is slammed right now. And if she’s swamped, getting multiple texts from you is going to stress her out even more. But you do need to find out if this is what’s going on or if she’s ghosting you for some other reason.
You can totally use the method outlined above to deal with this situation. You can also hit her with “Hey, if you’re too busy to chat, that’s OK, just let me know if you want to grab a drink or dinner in the next week or two.”
This is a confident text that puts the ball in her court in a way that is extremely clear. Giving her a call to action improves your odds of meeting up (chances are she’s texting multiple people at once).
She might respond that “Yes, this week is crazy, but things should calm down by next Thursday night.” If she doesn’t reply for a week or more, you can assume that she’s lost interest for whatever reason, and you do not need to know why. Just move on.
3. She Missed the Text
This is the least likely scenario, but it is worth considering. There are reasons that a text may not go through. If she went into an area with bad service or there was some other kind of glitch, she may not have gotten your text.
What can happen then is she might feel afraid that you’re not interested, or she said the wrong thing, and she may not want to seem needy, so she may never follow up. And you’re on the other side thinking the exact same thing.
So, it’s worth it to do the “double text” several days or more later, to make sure that this is not what happened. Please do not assume that this is what happened because it is far more likely that you annoyed her. Use the method outlined in the first scenario.
Remember, if a woman hasn’t responded to you yet, play it cool. Give it time and take a step back. Leave some space, but not too much. Find a wise way to let her know that your time is valuable, and you won’t just let her waste it. Soon enough, things will either move forward or come to a complete stop. Either way, it’s a good thing!
You don’t want to waste time with someone who is not willing to put in the effort. Some amount of playing the game is necessary, but at some point, you guys need to see eye to eye and feel comfortable texting back and forth.