Why Do People Have an Affair?

by Mitov Mitrovski

We live in a world where people constantly cheat in various ways. Whether in friendship, kinship, or business, people cheat for a variety of reasons. It is true that most often we talk about scams that happen in romantic relationships. One of the basic needs of all living beings is the need for reproduction, hence the inner, shall we say, animal instinct to continuously seek a partner. Many people take this instinct for granted and attribute their partner’s undesirable behavior to this innate need – the need for sex and reproduction.

However, what separates humans from other living beings is the reason, will, determination, and attitude, so these are also the main reasons why the question of moral behavior arises. For all these reasons, today we will try to explain why people get involved in affairs and cheat on their partners.

We all know someone who had an affair while being involved in a marital union, or someone who was on the other side – a single person in a relationship with someone who is taken. Such scenarios, as we all know, usually do not end well. Sooner or later, a cheated partner finds out what was going on behind her or his back and gets emotionally devastated. However, sometimes the cheated partner never finds out about their partner’s misbehaving, but this is very rare. Recently, websites like queenofaffairs.com offer online counseling services on how not to get caught cheating. Love and relationships are such popular topics that many people have decided to monetize them. Instead of discussing some new business ideas, let’s try to figure out the reasons for all this and focus on the topic. So why do people have affairs? We will list and discuss some reasons that we consider the most common causes of this problem.

1. Immaturity

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It is true that we all have that “child” in us, and we carry it throughout our lives. That experience of a child that we carry within us all the time, and of which we are often unaware, largely shapes our understanding of the world and informs our behavior. If our state of mind is such that, subconsciously, we somehow never get out of the role of a child, we will have much higher expectations from the world. We will often think that the world owes us something, that we are the ones who deserve more. If for whatever reason this doesn’t happen, we will create an illusion that we have the right to react as we wish. This attitude is, of course, the embodiment of immaturity and is present in many people. Those people expect from others to please them and fulfill their “childish” needs in the way that their caretakers and custodians should have done.

2. Lack of responsibility

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Immaturity and irresponsibility go hand in hand. Of course, if for the previously discussed reasons we act immature, we will likely refuse to take responsibility for our actions, as adults should do. This kind of behavior is not only socially undesirable, it also creates a feeling of unfulfillment in people who don’t work on overcoming it. Responsibility, no matter how difficult it may seem, once embraced, it creates a feeling of freedom and makes us feel fulfilled.

3. Lack of empathy

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People who cheat simply don’t care enough about other people’s feelings. There is a wide range of traits that characterize us, but some of them can certainly be non-empathy and lack of natural human kindness. It means that we don’t sympathize with other close people (in this case partners) and we can’t truly get into her or his shoes and project their feelings in such sensitive situations. We will not go into the reasons for non-empathy, although they often originate from our childhood experiences, too. As Confucius said, don’t do unto others what you don’t want to be done unto you.

4. Sense of inferiority

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This feeling can result in our constant looking for confirmation from others. For example, that other people find us desirable and attractive. Such behavior, like many other personal traits, is related to the feeling of acceptance that we lacked in childhood. This is another reason why people get into an affair and have multiple partners at the same time. There are different ways to change this kind of behavior. One of them is working on yourself. In fact, this is also the best solution, better than hungry wandering for attention and confirmation from others.

In conclusion, people get into affairs for different reasons and deal differently with the outcome of such behavior. We believe that at least some of these reasons that we have discussed are precisely those that are mostly responsible for such actions of individuals. If you have recognized yourself in any of the points we have given, and you want to improve your personality and your relationship with the partner, we advise you to seek psychological assistance. We strongly advise you to try to find out your methods and ways to prevent discussed scenarios.

Getting into an affair and making your life and relationship messy and complicated will never be a good replacement for personal, inner dissatisfaction. This also applies to situations when you might feel that your partner is not giving you what you think you need or deserve. If you think that the relationship between you and your partner needs improvement or some fresh experiences, try to talk openly about it and approach things from your partner’s point of view. Relationships are complicated and sometimes it takes time to adjust, but if you invest effort and goodwill, you will see that it will improve the quality of your relationship, thus, your life will be fulfilled and will get a new meaning. Instead of looking for satisfaction and acceptance somewhere else, we think it is always better to make a change by working to improve yourself and your partner. Such a positive and honest attitude will make love and trust you have in your partnership to continue to flourish.

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